One time I told my spiritual director I was afraid I had despaired since in a dark moment I had wanted to die. He looked at me, smiled and said "you didn't want to die, you just wanted the pain to stop."
If your heart is aching with that dark desire remember that suicide is not the solution. There are other ways to make the pain stop or to make it bearable. Therapy, medicine, a good long talk with a friend, prayer, etc. You have so much to do, so many people to love! There is hope! You will see the goodness of the Lord in this life!
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4 comments:
I can relate to this..excellent post. I nominate you for an award!
Gee! Thanks Jackie!
That's why so many drunks and drug addicts do what they do. They just want the pain to stop. I self medicated since I was 15 because it was the only time I felt "normal". Now I've figured out being "normal" isn't all it's cracked up to be and being a bit "off" is way more fun. It's all about perspective....
Sometimes I think it is about losing hope that things will change for the better - but 'in God all things are possible'. We have to take one day at a time on the 'difficult' days. I have to try and not swing the other way too - and attempt too much or overreach myself. It's a bit of a balancing act. To be honest as a Christian and knowing suicide is a sin makes me think that it could make things worse and end up with all that suffering still on the other side but eternally!! Which would be much worse - lol. At least if we experience suffering on this side of eternity it will go someway to experiencing the jewels of heaven in the next life.
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